Feeling peaceful....

Out to breakfast with my Daddy on his first Father's Day!

Learning how to kiss, make a mess, and play in my new sand and water table!!!

Can you tell I loved visiting Knoebel's???

Hanging out with Uncle Dave and learning how to ride a scooter with Daddy!

I love my cousins Anna and Nicholas!

Chilling out with my Mommy!

Mommy and Daddy's first outing since Matthew coming.....Jake and Erin had a beautiful wedding!

Look at that innocent face....

Just love this picture....Daddy and Matthew!

You know, I totally forgot how therapuetic it is for me to sit and write....I really need to get back into blogging and make that something I can do at night to get things out on paper. It sure has been a long time since I have done this, and so much has happened since the last time I wrote. In fact, I don"t even know where to start....

It's hard to believe Matthew has been in our lives a little over 5 months now....in some ways it feels like we were just in China meeting him for the first time, and in other moments it feels like we have been a family forever...what we have learned about parenthood is nothing we could have read in textbooks. Every day is a day that we learn new things -about Matthew, about ourselves, and about how every minute of life with our precious child is a gift from God. It's amazing how we chose Matthew's name for it's mean - A Gift from God, and how true the meaning is. He is our gift, our precious child, we have always dreamt about.

It's funny because it's been almost a year since Chris and I had switched to the special waiting program. We prayed and talked over "what to check off" on the list, and that was such a hard process for us because we felt selfish not checking off certain special needs that seemed more severe than we could care for. After all, we were first time parents, and we wanted to be sure we could care for the child that we received.

Little did we know that God had other plans for us, and He knew that we would be able to care for Matthew's medical needs. When we first learned he was deaf, we thought the world had ended....and we were crushed. How were we possibly going to care for a child that could not hear? Since March 17th when we learned that Matthew couldn't hear, our lives were turned completely upside down in a way that is hard to describe. We truly were not prepared for the medical journey we were about to travel with Matthew - we kept thinking, we don't even know how to be parents, let alone parents to a deaf child. Then, the testing started.............testing all necessary to see if Matthew would be a candidate for a cochlear implant! We certainly did not expect to find abnormal test after abnormal test.....before we knew it, it's July and Matthew has been under anesthesia 4 times, has had 2 MRI's, CT scans, ultrasound, 2 EEG's, and has had at least 2 doctor's visits a week. We have been told Matthew could have a progressive neurodegenerative disease(only time will tell), we have watched Matthew develop "dyskinesias" which are episodes that look like seizures, only we can't get him out of them sometimes for hours overnight, we have been on 4 different medications trying to treat them, and we have only had TWO nights of full sleep since we left for China on January 31st!!!! And, I am so happy to write that the past 2 nights have been those 2 nights, so we are thanking God that this new medication seems to be helping with the nighttime episodes. I can't tell you heartbreaking it has been to watch his body have these episodes and to know as a Mom that there is NOTHING I can do to comfort him when they happen, or get him out of them. He is still having some during the day, but nighttime has always been worse! He is scheduled to have his hypospadias repaired on Sept 2nd, but we may put that off depending on when his implant surgery will be scheduled which is TOP priority.

We have been to CHOP to meet with the cochlear implant team 3 times, and are still waiting to find out if Matthew is a candidate for an implant. I am supposed to hear from the social worker tomorrow to set up our next appointments. We have had a teacher of the deaf for the past 6 weeks coming to the house once a week and once a week to Matthew's daycare to teach us sign language and how to communicate with him. He has really picked things up well, and we are ALL learning new signs every day. What a neat new language we are learning!

Away from the crazy appointments and trying to keep up with working full time to keep up with the many bills that are now coming in - we still manage to find time EVERY DAY to spend with our precious child doing fun things together as a family. We are SO blessed that Matthew has attached and bonded with Chris and I so well = we certainly did not expect things to be smooth in that area, but God obviously had a plan for all of us to be a family together. Matthew is just so affectionate and we love that about him, just like everything else we love about him...of course, he definitely has his "terrible 2" moments, but they are actually kind of amusing when they occur.

Hope you can enjoy some of our fun summer pictures with Matthew - it's been SO FUN taking him to do things for the FIRST time! Truly, seeing his reactions to everything is an amazing thing!!! We are feeling so peaceful right now.........and so thankful that we have had NO appointments this week. It's amazing how much great family time we have had, AND how much more energy I know I have had not having to run between appointments every day!!! That can really take a toll on your body. We know things will be crazy again soon, but for now we are thankful for the new medicine that is helping Matthew's body be calm during the night and for every moment we have ! Please continue to pray that Matthew will get his cochlear implant so we can start the process of teaching him how to hear sounds!!!!

Next post........my baby sister got engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!